Dear Eva, I’m scared. Bill is giving up.

Will he survive treatment for throat cancer?

Will he survive treatment for throat cancer?

Dear Eva,

I am very worried about Bill. I am going to call his ENT tomorrow for an appointment. I know you are very busy, but if you have a moment, could you please call? Bill is exhausted. He is not sleeping from pain and worry. He does not want to live with the feeding tube forever. I have tried to reassure him but I don’t think I am getting through.

How do these doctors expect a man to go through this grueling treatment when he is not strong to begin with. Would a psychologist help? I don’t know! I’ll do anything. I just know that you walked this path, and you can relate to his feeling of helplessness and desperation. I contacted a myofascial therapist in our area, as you suggested. Thanks for that. The ENT’s nurse called today, but offered no help! I am getting quite frustrated. I don’t think he’s going to make it through this treatment in this state of mind. He is even considering not going forward with the treatment. If you cannot call, I would be appreciative of any advice you can offer.
Thank you again for your time.

Sincerely,

Jen


Dear Jen,

I had a good long talk with Bill. He told me he didn’t sleep or eat well yesterday. When you don’t sleep or eat, you are cranky! He has no one to lay that on but you. He told me he loves you and his son more than anything and wants to do this for you both. When I asked him if he was doing it for himself, he said he was. He knows there is a lot to live for.
Let me start by suggesting that as his primary caregiver, you need to not only care for him, but yourself, too! No one will take care of you, like you! Plan time for yourself, so you have renewed energy to care for him. Ask his sister to do something so you can have time for an activity that energizes you like taking a walk, a bath, having a manicure or coffee with a friend. Secondly, know that the treatment for throat cancers that are HPV positive are very receptive to treatment. If he can tolerate the treatment, he will probably beat the cancer. Whenever you are worried or need someone to talk to, please call or write again.

Wishing you strength ~Eva


Dear Eva,

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that he finally has someone with whom he can connect. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ~Jen

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