This was written by my friend Judy whom I met when speaking for a head & neck support group at a well known cancer center. It made me laugh! Laughing is medicine!
1. It’s not contagious.
2. Opt out of Scans at airport: Go to the front of the line and get a nice pat-down screening from an apologetic female TSA staffer. I consider this free “body work.”
3. Speech impediment: Expedites customer service phone calls. At first they assume I am drunk. After a brief mention of my speech difficulty, they are amazingly helpful, probably assuming that this is one of those test “recorded” calls. Try it some time!
4. Pull the ‘Cancer Card’: Mentioning you have cancer works wonders in getting you in promptly to a doctor: Podiatrist, dermatologist, whatever…Also, helps with late fees on bills you have forgotten to pay. Occasionally helps with hotel reservations if a doctor visit is involved.
5. Weight loss: Forget that new diet drug, a round of chemo and a stomach tube works really well.
6. Increased pain tolerance: I used to cringe and look away when someone drew my blood. Not a problem now!
7. Side trips: Combine your cancer center visits with other activities. See a Broadway show when you are at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC. Go to spring training when visiting Mayo Clinic in Arizona.
8. New wardrobe. There is nothing like throwing out the “treatment” clothes. How about getting rid of the outfit you wore on the day you found out you had cancer? And the day you found out your treatment plan? And the day you crashed the car while scheduling radiation? I definitely need new clothes…
9. Earrings: I can now wear clip on earrings without pain because my ears have lost most of their sensation due to nerves being cut. I was considering re-piercing my ears, but frankly feel that I have been pierced enough for the time being.